An  older lady gets pulled over for speeding…  
Older Woman: Is there a problem,  Officer?  

Officer:  Ma’am, you were speeding.  

Older  Woman: Oh, I see. 

Officer:  Can I see your license please?   

Older  Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.  

Officer:  Don’t have one? 

Older  Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.  

Officer:  I see…Can I see your vehicle registration  papers please. 

Older  Woman: I can’t do that. 

Officer:  Why not? 

Older  Woman: I stole this car. 

Officer:  Stole it? 

Older  Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the  owner. 

Officer:  You what? 

Older  Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the  trunk if you want to see 

The  Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes  5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. 

Officer  2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle  please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.  

Older  woman: Is there a problem sir?  

Officer  2: One of my officers told me that you have  stolen this car and murdered the  owner.  

Older  Woman: Murdered the owner?   

Officer  2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your  car, please.  

The  woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.  

Officer  2: Is this your car, ma’am?  

Older  Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.  The officer is quite  stunned.  

Officer  2: One of my officers claims that you do not  have a driving license. 

The  woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a  clutch purse and hands it to the  officer.  

The  officer examines the license. He looks quite  puzzled. 

Officer  2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me  you didn’t have a license, that you stole this  car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. 

Older  Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding,  too. 

Don’t  Mess With Old Ladies 
If  you want to brighten someone’s day, pass this on  to someone you know.