Dictionary of Woman…

Posted on October 25th, 2008 in Fun, joke by sunilkk
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.
 
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
 
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
 
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
 
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
 
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
 
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
 
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
 
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
 
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
 
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
 
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.
 
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,…breath. ..push… "
 
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear…!
 
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
 
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.
 
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
 
Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card

Definitions of IT Job Designations

Posted on October 22nd, 2008 in Fun by funmail

 So you think you know the IT industry? Check out some of the very funny and interesting definitions of the various designations of the people related to the IT jobs. Please don’t take the definitions too seriously. These definitions are just for fun and have absolutely nothing to do with the professional world.

Definition of IT job designations

1. Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine Women can deliver a baby in One month.

2. Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single Woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4. Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.

5. Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6. Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t Need a man or woman; They’ll produce a child with zero resources.

7. Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.

8. Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

9. Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.

 

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